A much needed break

So life has all these crazy loopty loo's, and winding roads that sometimes I take a detour. I had to take this detour. If not for anything else but my sanity. I had a bunch of things coming at me and I did try to prioritize my time a little better, but for cripes sake I am a Libra.. I love procrastination and I love being lazy.
Lets see whats going on?... Well, I got into a set schedule.. Really I had no choice. I was up before the sun gets out every morning, helping out family. Basically what that entails is picking up my brother and dropping him off at work, then bringing his daughter here to be watched until his wife gets out of work. Both of them changed their schedules, and sooooo. Here we are to help... So as soon as i get back with baby, I have to get my other niece ready to go to school Then actually take her. Not to mention I have to go to school also. Aside from school, and family life there has been my socializing life. Which should be the majority of time. I spend a lot of time bullshitting with people.
Lilly (my dog) has taken a front seat also. I have been religiously taking her to the dog park. She needs it, and the walking sure does help me out. I have been meeting the coolest people.. It is kinda funny though, cause I run into the hottest guys ever, and then they kill it with a small yapper dog, here I am with a Pit Bull.. and he has a small ankle biter. LOL.. I can't help but laugh at that. I mean really? I feel more masculine than the guys... Ha ha If it aint pit.. it aint shit right? Apparently not.
I have actually taken a slight break from any and all guys I have been dating. Even trophy! Especially Brandon. I figured fuck em! and not in the literal term, with good feelings.. I mean.. to hell with them.. I told phil that I am gonna cut everyone from the roster and start my harem all over again. So far so good!. I do still talk to my trophy, but sex not in a while, and really conversation and hanging out also not in a while. So I am done!
I have still been on my phone like a crack head. I have bought little gadgets and gizmos for it. I am always on it.. I love it. Ha ha.. I know crack head right.. I know..
I am trying to get creative.. but it just isnt coming to me.. I am in a cluster fuck.. my mind is in a rut.. I am trying to get it out. I will try to come back later today and really unload ok.. But I wanted to come back just for alittle..

shes just not that into you.. ANYMORE

Ok.. so with that title being said.. I guess it is safe for assumptions sake.. that yes indeed, I am cutting Brandon off of the roster... I had even gave him till this morning.. But I officially erased his numbers from my phone.. I cant say i didn't give him a fair shot. Cause I did. I just feel, if you are willing to do that in early stages.. What kinda shinanigans are you gonna pull 2 years from now, when we are in an established relationship. So.. a moment of silence for the now long gone Brandon H... goodbye ....
........Ok.. Now, I am again single (wait, I already was claiming to be) ha ha. Now, I have to fight off temptation to go see the ex.. I havent really spoke on his situation.. All I did mention was that he texted me.
Ok.. Long story short.. we met over 9 years ago. I was dating (nothing serious) someone he knew. And met him one night when the guy i was dating had his friends over to my apartment and we were all playing video games. So, me and guy stop dating, and I run into Will some time later. We became fast friends, that later turned into romantic friends. Which was a roller coaster ride for 9 years. We had so many ups and downs, and so many break ups to make ups. SO many you did this, you did that. To this day he still points fingers (i think that was me pointing fingers).. We just cant seem to find the right timing for each other..When one wants the other, the other isnt ready for commitment.. The passion is there. Totally.. We cant look at each other without giving each other googly eyes. The thing is, getting over him is so hard, cause he is one of my bestest friends. So cliche huh?
But it is true.. And after those texts on Valentine's day from him... I have reconsidered the whole "leaving him alone" ; "shit or get off the pot" sitatuation.. stupidly too.. but whatever I am beginning to think I am a glutton for punishment.
I thought about the other 2 guys im "dating".. my trophy.. actually nothing is wrong with him, except the fact that we arent together.. we are just dating.. he actually doesnt frustrate me.. He is pretty mellow and go with the flow.. a lot like myself. Other than his little 3sum situation (which most guys try for.. so I cant fault him).. The other guy.. well.. Thats where it gets confusing. My cousin hooked us up. And he is a great business connection. But his passion scares me. He is too passionate... About life, love, me.. his work. Which it isnt a bad thing. But the fact that I have known him for almost a year, and dating for over a month; I just dont feel the same, and I tell him to pump his brakes all the time. But he doesnt get it, or doesnt care.. But in his ideal world, I will be his wife.. He has started reffering to me amongst his friends as his "fiancee" Wow.. NEver got the ring.. But hey.. So to some it may seem like I have my plate full. But to tell you the truth, I would have gave up all of them for Brandon. I really would have, I was truly content with what we had, especially since even though i was dating others.. I stayed in the parameters of a relationship. I kept them as friends; ofcourse I never told them about each other (well i did tell brandon about them, but was honest in saying i wasnt doing anythign with any of them.. including him).. But I wasnt going on any dates, or really talking to them as much as I was before Brandon.
Lol.. I know that makes me look like a whore.. But out of the 3 guys (Will excluded) Trophy was the only one i was having sex with.. And once Brandon came around.. I wasnt doing anything. So.. I was just playing the field, until I found a game I wanted to pitch in.. Apparently the other team forfeited on me.. but hey.. thats Life right?
SOOOOO amongst other things.. Today is my first day of school.. You are now looking at a future teacher.. haha.. scary.. naw Actually I am great with kids.. and besides my dating life.. I live a pretty normal life.. Anyways.. I guess I should be heading out... So heres to 2nd chances and moving on.. Have a great day guys..

first blog.. just a simple one for now

Ok.. so here goes. My first attempt to blog. I need a feel for this, so bare with me.
Ok... so after a lot of contemplation on my part, I feel I need to address my fear of commitment. I dont know exactly what it is about dating that gets to me. But it is almost like i need a few guys to equal up to ONE great one. crazy I know. Its like its sex and the city for a 20 something year old. and I couldnt consider myself on the status of the girls of the cast of the show. Looks wise, but I pull guys I dont have any business pulling, Seriously.
Now what is troubling me today, which I feel shouldnt. But it does. Ok, I am dating this one guy (amongst others) but this one is like my trophy. He is fine in every aspect of every way. He is sucessful, he is attractive, and a great personality. Now, the problem with this "situation" is he is in other words a "hoe" yes, he is. He has friends. Now through time he has got me to consider a threesome situation. so I get the situation started. i "find" a girl, i make the connection, i put in all the work. One day, she decided she wanted to do a "3-way" phone call with him. While on the phone he indicated that he might want to sample her himself. Red flags went up immediately. what happened? Did I just hook up my trophy with another "friend" to add to his collection? Did I become that girl? How did that happen? So do I have the right to be a little peeved with this situation? or should i chalk this up to game and say fuck it and let them have each other? I dont know. But i do now think I look at him differently.