do I have a sign that says full of 2nd chances here?

Geesh louise..
I swear I dont know what it is with people these days. I had a best friend for about 7 years. Her name is Lisa. I love her to death, she can be a total sweet heart. I overlook her faults and some of her lies, cause it really isnt that serious. But.. She kicked me when I was down. I needed her to be understanding to me for a little while longer. I owed her money, in a round about way. And it wasnt a very big amount.. My intent was as soon as my unemployment came through she was gonna be the first one paid, no doubt about it. She couldnt hang on one more week. she flipped out on me, called me and was cussing me out. I mean it was ridiculous. If she was ever my friend I dont think she should have ever treated me like that. I have done a lot for this girl, I have never asked to be repaid or thanked or anything, but I truly believed if you were my friend, you would be there for me .. fuck not even be there for me.. But dont kick me when I am down. that is some low shit. Something an enemy does.
Well.. Today I get a text from her that says.. "dude i need to talk to you" i text back
"about what".. I thought she was gonna bitch some more.. I honestly did.. But she didnt..
she texted back "i dont wanna lose you as a friend".. i sat there and thought about it for a minute.. This girl is a loyal person, for the most part.. If i were stranded, i would call her, she would come no questiones asked, and she would drop anything she was doing. That's why I can over look her being a douchebag. So I text back and I pretty much said that she hurt me a lot and that I really wasnt mad at her or hate her or anything like that, I just didnt need that kinda negativity in my life. She said I know Im sorry, blah blah.. which is cool.. For her to admit that shes sorry.. thats a big step for her. I decide to forgive.. I told her it will take time for us to be back how we were.. But we can start to hang out again.
I did miss her.. I kicked it with her everyday for 7 years. Literally, everyday. .. I dont know.. I guess I am a sucker for it. I dont know why either. I am too forgivng.. But hey, I just dont like being mad at people, and I dont like people mad at me.. I am such a damn pacifist..
So the funniest shit to me the past few days, even though I have been cluster fuct is this.. My dog Lilly, she is crazy. Ok I just got her those water thingy things, that have a big water bottle that fills into the bowl.. Well when they drink enough water the water bubbles bubble up.. she gets all freaked out like shes gonna attack it. It all trips her out.. Then she will drink, stop and look up at the bottle like.. ":are you gonna do it?" .. "if you're gonna do it.. im ready" "ok you can do it.. I am waiting now.. do it bitch" it is funny as shit.. oh my gosh.. the simple things in life are the shit.. fuck i love my dog.. she is such a doofus.. that should have been her name..

Here we go again.. again

Morning guys.. So yeah, I got to sleep in just a little longer than usual today. 830. WOOO HOOO.. However I did get woken up by the landscapers at like 7, but I ignored and went back to sleep. Which all by itself was a feat for me. But I do remember laying there like "I know they arent doing this today" But oh well. I am well rested (compared to yesterday).
I bought new bed things. I went pink. I love pink, and I needed an energy color to liven up the flow. I was with brown before, and well Things were ok, but not GREAT. Wow, unemployment really changed my outlook. I am extremely focused, and positive. I love the feel. Being broke just has this lasting effect over you, that no matter what you do or where you go you always have this yuck feeling about you. I did my splurge, however I may in 2 weeks or so purchase a nintendo Wii. i wanna play..hehe
So, I heard from Brandon. Yes, I still dont know how to reply. I am going to post his reply to me. I sent him on myspace, a short note that basically said, I dont know what I did, but it was pretty shitty of you to have just left me hanging. And too bad cause I really did like you, blah blah blah. But yea.. Here is his response:

whoa whoa whoa, sorry if i come wrong, but i have to be honest, u did nothing wrong, it's me. i tried to beat around the bush, but i have to show it. i never ignored you in a bad sense, i'm a LONE WOLF, A LONER, I STAND ALONE! I disappear from time to time for the hell of it. i can't help it. it's all i know. maybe if you read between the lines you could understand that. i hella hella like you, but i know this is a dealbreaker. I lay in my own world and think to myself. also, i have some sh*ton my mind that hopefully we could talk about later.

love always
xoxoxo
Brandon.


ok.. So he did tell me that a while back that he is a loner. He is used to dealing with everything alone, and he usually doesnt have someone that wants to be with him through life's obstacles. but I figured with how we were getting along, that he enjoyed my company. I was also thinking that maybe we were moving at a faster pace than he could handle, and he withdrew himself? I dont know, but I did hear from him. I am still leaving it up in the air, cause I cant forget the fact that he ditched me on valentines day. But like earlier comments said "make him pay for it" and I am. I will slowly let him back, but then again I feel that I may always fault him for this. We shall see about that situation.
I have some homework I gotta get done, so I may or may not be posting again today. I promise im not trying to flake out on you. xoxox

2nd chances.. and early mornings.. yet again

So, I am a little tired of waking up earlier than the mexicans that do the landscaping.. seriously. It's not even 730 yet.. and i have been up for a little over a half hour..
I hate this damn crap.. What happened to being able to sleep in atleast till noon? I am unemployed after all.. How am I living up to that stereotype if Im not atleast staying up all night and sleeping in all day? I feel a little disrespectful to the others who are doing so.. haha NOT..
So... I been talking to 3 guys.. Dating one seriously (or so he thinks).. He asked me to be his girlfriend.. And normally I would be a little scared, but I actually like this guy. His name is Brandon. Brandon is going through a divorce after being cheated on, and his soon to be ex wife got knocked up by her new boyfriend. Ha ha.. I mean its not funny or anything. But damn, that is a little fkd up.. Ok, so he has 2 daughters. And I know I mentioned in an earlier post how I am actually feeling guilty about feeling I should be a bigger priority. Which I have to be honest, in my defense. This was the first weekend since i have been dating him that he had his girls the whole weekend. It just so happened to be Valentines day weekend.. Now, I did hear from him on v-day.. actually I like how one of my followers put vday as (S)ingles (A)wareness (D)ay.. thanks darlingblue.. ..so I hear from him and it was so brief.. but sounded like this "Hey sweetheart.. I am headed out the door to take the girls to the movie.. i hope you have a great day, and i wanted you to know i was thinking about you.. talk to you later ok?" lol I like that whole ok part at the end... did i really have a choice.. or what??? Lol.. i quickly say, "thank you and have a fun time.. talk to you later babes.. " Ok.. that was roughly 2pm saturday.. I havent heard from him since..
I know this is probably stupid, but I have had a little list of rules.. some of them are stupid yes, I know.. But I have a 3 call rule.. If i have called you 3 times whether in a day or week.. I dont call back again. If you dont call back anytime within those 3 calls.. I move on. I am to that point. I am to the point, where I just dont understand what I should do. And if I didnt like this dude.. he wouldnt even be given a 2nd thought. I realize how shallow that makes me look.. Whatever.. lol Its hard to seed out the losers.. But we go from days of 9 hour phone conversations, to being able to spend 12 hours with each other and not get sick of each other.. to this.. Me blogging about him, and whether I should give him a 2nd chance.. I know its in the beginning stages of "us".. but the fact that I didnt go out and look for my valentine, or spend time with the other guys i am talking to. I literally spent my time pining over him.. And I still am. I miss that feeling he gives me.
The other 2nd chance I am looking at, is my ex. What a tumultous relationship that is. Yikes!.. Why couldnt a love story be so easy? Boy meets girl, they date, they fall in love. .. So simple.. but no..
... Damn this Brandon thing is bothering me... Maybe he deserves a 2nd chance.. But when do I draw the line here? How many days should pass (of him not calling) do I let him slide on? Today at 2pm would make it day 2.. This sucks.. I do like him :(